There is an increased focus on peace these days. Yet, few people understand what peace really is. In this article you will find three essential steps on the way to find lasting peace in your life.
Step 1 - External Peace
The most common definition of peace is concerned with the international relations of countries. This aspect of peace is defined as the absence of war or other hostilities. When conflicts between countries escalate into war, this is considered to be disturbing the peace.
In the West we often see reports about wars in the media, for example in Yemen, Syria, or Ethiopia, but these wars were always far away. It often felt like a movie in which we were not involved.
Now a war has broken out in Europe.
The situation in Ukraine has become the focus of the media, which bombard us daily with terrible news. People in Europe have enjoyed a certain level of security until now, which many see threatened by this war. As a result the focus on peace has increased.
It is important to note that conflicts and other causes for war are present long before the actual war breaks out. For example, the situation in Ukraine has been escalating at least since 2014, yet nobody seems to care about peace until there has been a breach of violence. We could investigate the influence of the weapon lobby or the “divide and conquer” strategy of certain dominant nations, but let’s start somewhere more familiar.
To understand conflicts, we start by examining our own life. We often feel tension or disharmony within ourselves, but also with co-workers, parents, siblings or friends. This tension is also present in nations, and it expresses itself precisely in the form of (inter)national conflicts.
Nations are collectives of individuals. Therefore, the first step to lasting peace is to realize that external peace, or harmony in the outer world, is only possible when all participants in the situation have attained a reasonable level of internal peace.
Step 2 - Internal Peace
If we want to examine our level of inner peace, a good place to start is our thoughts. We can look at our thoughts from different angles.
- You could look at the quantity of your thoughts. Can you see how many thoughts are going around in your head? By visualizing your thoughts like clouds in the sky that are floating in the wind, you can look at them. Are there five thoughts, ten, or maybe a hundred? The fewer thoughts, the calmer it is in your head.
- You could observe how quick your thoughts are. Are they passing by like clouds on a summer day? Or are they rushing through your brain? If you visualize those clouds moving at a certain speed, you can also make them slow down. Just being aware of the speed of your thoughts is often enough to slow them down.
- You could investigate the quality of your thoughts. How are your thoughts affecting your emotions? Every thought has a certain frequency, a certain vibration. What is the effect of this vibration on you? Does it make you happy, angry or sad? How does it affect your energy? Every sensation you experience after a thought determines its quality. This is expressed either physically or emotionally, or in additional thoughts.
When a few simple thoughts move slowly through our head, and these thoughts make us feel joyful, we could speak of a peaceful inner world.
But this is certainly not the whole story. What if we have multiple thoughts and emotions buzzing around, not all equally happy? What if some of them make us angry or depressed? How to remain peaceful in chaos?
To understand more, let’s dive deeper into our inner world.
Discovering our ego parts
Thoughts and emotions do not stand alone. They roam around in our system and repeat themselves. They are products of past experiences, especially of when we were in survival mode.
These past experiences have left a residue in our personality that can be called ego parts. Ego parts are a combination of thoughts, emotions and needs. We have created lots of such ego parts during our lives.
The main reason for low levels of peace is ego. Our ego strives to influence our actions and reactions according to its own egoistic agenda. When we are not aligned with the reality of the greater good, we tend to make decisions that disturb the peace.
It should be noted that our ego is not a bad thing. It helps us survive in this world and it protects our borders. However, our ego is also a cause of distraction and deception, and this can have disturbing results.
Ego parts tend to get into conflict with something. That something may be outside of us — in other people or situations — or within ourselves. In the absence of all these conflicts we could speak of internal peace. Just like when countries stop fighting on the international level, sometimes there are periods when our ego parts are more quiet. For example when their needs have just been fulfilled. But after a while, they will once again raise their voice to get what they want from us.
Internal peace is fragile.
Now we have a choice. Will we continue this game of satisfying our ego parts and causing inner or outer conflict? Or will we make the decision to dive deeper into ourselves and act differently?
Diving deeper
If this article resonates with you, it means you have come to a point where you have become tired of all this tension within yourself and with others. It means that you do not just want to survive anymore, but that you are longing to live a life of lasting peace.
This longing of the heart can be life changing. However, the way you respond to this longing is of great importance. If you simply try to avoid conflict from now on, or try to suppress parts of your ego, it might be that this behavior is directed from yet another ego part.
Beware of this trap! Proceed with caution.
Einstein famously said that problems cannot be solved from the same level of thinking that created them. This is true for peace as well.
Learning to let go
Internal peace can be described as a state in which your ego parts are not in conflict. Once you realize the fragility of this peace, the most logical choice is to let go of the influence of your ego.
The process of letting go may sound like a paradox at first. To let go of your ego parts, you must fully accept their presence. Become aware of them with complete attention, but without any reaction. Do not try to change them, judge them or resist them.
Observe your thoughts, feelings and desires and get to a point where you truly understand your ego parts. Once you gain enough insight and understanding, you will be ready to accept their presence.
As soon as you start accepting, the voices of your ego parts will become softer and softer. The ego parts will recognize that you are not in survival mode any longer, and will voluntarily surrender to serve a greater good. Eventually, you will come into contact with a silence behind the ego. From there a new consciousness can grow.
Remember: the secret of letting go is to not force change from your will power or cognitive abilities. Rather, it is a process of gaining insight, awareness and increasing acceptance.
Step 3 - Eternal Peace
On the road to lasting peace we become more and more silent. In moments of pure silence it is possible to feel a peace that is profound. This peace is not just the absence of conflict. It is a serene state of joy and gratitude, an experience of unity and universal love. It is a state of being we will call eternal peace from now on.
We experience eternal peace when we align ourselves with a force field that is beyond our ego. The alignment with this greatest good silences all thoughts, feelings and reactions.
Eternal peace is always here. It is omnipresent, whether it is manifested in our inner or in the outer world or not.
We cannot create it. We do not control it.
Eternal peace simply is.
Ancient wisdom
Words are impractical to describe this kind of peace. People have known about the shortcomings of words since ancient times. Read for example the opening words of the Tao Te Ching, an ancient text from China written in the year 400 before Christ:
The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
Each of the 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching are filled with wisdom, but one of them is especially relevant for the eternal peace we are trying to describe in this article. It is verse 16. We will quote the first lines of this verse now, and give an explanation after:
Attain the ultimate emptiness.
Hold on to the truest stillness.
The 10.000 things are ever changing;
I therefore watch their return.
Every thing flourishes;
each returns to its root.
The verse tells us to strive for a state of ultimate emptiness. It is also referred to as the truest stillness. This sounds similar to eternal peace. So, how do we get there? How can we be truly still?
To fully understand what stillness is, we need to understand what it is not. The opposite of stillness is reactivity.
Reactivity makes the world around us appear more real, more solid, and more lasting than it really is. The 10.000 things (the many forms that life takes on) are all temporary. Objects, bodies, thoughts, emotions, desires, ambitions, fears, they arise and pretend to be important, but before you know it they are all gone.
The more we react to the 10.000 things around us, the more distracted we become. In this state of reactivity and distraction our choices can cause conflict within ourselves and with those around us. This is precisely why letting go of ego parts is essential.
All things flourish in lively activity, but after time each thing will return to its root. This is the constant cycle of nature. When we understand this principle of constancy, we learn to watch as every thing returns to its root. We become less reactive and more still.
In this stillness we observe our thoughts, emotions and desires. We observe our ego parts and gain insight and awareness.
One key insight:
We are not our thoughts. We have them. In essence we are independent of any thought, emotion, desire, ambition or fear.
We are the Being that observes.
When we silently watch our self, we become aware of Being: a peaceful yet powerful presence that transcends time.
This presence is who we really are. When we are truly still, we connect to who we were before we temporarily assumed this physical and mental form called a person. When we are truly still, we connect to who we are beyond existence in space and time: eternal Being.
When we surrender our self in order to Be, we enter into the truest stillness. In this ultimate emptiness we experience eternal peace. This state of Being will change our whole life.
We now have the confidence that peace is possible.
Walking on the way
This all sounds good in theory, but in practice it can feel different. Emptiness can sometimes feel like a void. A nothingness. We may feel alienated or even depressed. It can get lonely. If there is nothing to care for, it can feel like life has lost its meaning.
Paradoxically, this is what every peacemaker must endure. To enter into the blissful state of eternal peace, we have to experience the fear that nothing matters and the despair that comes with that possibility. We must face the anxiety of doubt and meaninglessness.
If you have ever felt this way, please know that you are not alone. And know that there is a way out, or rather through!
The solution is: find the courage to face the nothingness, and transform it into an experience of no-thingness. The experience that we are liberated from “things” like our thoughts, emotions or desires.
From nothingness we get no-thingness. We add space to the word, but we also add space to our consciousness. In this space there is an opportunity to be fulfilled by a force that transcends us. Earlier we described it as an alignment with the greatest good. Some people have called it God, but words cannot express what it truly is. It is a mysterious voice that guides us.
Follow this voice and you will find peace.
The road to nowhere
Reading all this, you might wonder how to connect or align yourself with this force field of the greatest good.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to give you any further directions. The only way to “know” it is through direct experience and participation. You cannot learn it by reading a text. It must be done. One requirement is that you let go of attachment. This means accepting the total surrender of your egoistic self. Are you willing and able to surrender?
If yes, consider this: your ego exists in the past and in the future. It exists in your memories and in your hopes and fears for what is to come. If you truly long to attain the ultimate emptiness and surrender your egoistic self, you must return to the present moment.
Time is the horizontal dimension of life, the surface layer of our everyday world. Then, there is the vertical dimension, accessible only through the portal of the present moment.
Now.
When you resist the now, there is a barrier that separates you from aligning with the greatest good. When you are fully present in the moment, there is a portal through which this infinite and omnipresent force can reach you. In this moment, all separation between you and this essence dissolves.
Be present.
Be right here, right now.
now + here = nowhere
From this formula it follows that eternal peace is nowhere. Do not search for it outside. Simply surrender to the present moment and be aware of the stillness within.
Conclusion
Peace is always here, whether it is manifested in our inner or outer world or not. It is more than just the absence of war. It is a state of being. Peace has multiple aspects: external, internal and eternal. Being aware of these three aspects will help us walk the path to lasting peace.
This text has attempted to describe the indescribable. To fully understand and experience the truth behind these words, it is needed to participate in the process of building peace. Don’t dream it — Be it.
Blessed are the peacemakers.
